How do you keep a bully from bullying? You could do nothing—just turn the other cheek, or you could stand up for yourself. Or better yet, bring on the babies. According to a 2010 New York Times article, this is what Roots of Empathy (ROE), a bullies deprogramming initiative in Canada, has been doing since 1996.
Learning From Babies
Here's how the program works. A parent and baby pay visits to a classroom. Over a period of several monthly visits, students observe the same mother (or father) and baby interact on a blanket. What happens is that the students bond with the baby, which is said to increase kindness among the students and reduce bullying.
“We love when we get a colicky baby,” says Mary Gordon, the founder of the program. "When the mother is frustrated by her inability to get the colicky baby to stop crying, it helps children understand what the parent is going through—a perspective that is often new to them—and how children’s behavior can affect adults." She goes on to say that they see what it's like to "see the world through the infant’s eyes and understand what it is like to have needs but no ability to express them clearly.”
Study Results
Based on the results of nine independent studies, the ROE method is clearly effective in reducing aggression and increasing prosocial behavior among the students. Whether verbalized or not, witnessing the interaction is apparently transformative.
- As reported by Bornstein, the Times reporter who saw the results for himself: "What I find most fascinating is how the baby actually changes the children's behavior....tough kids smile, disruptive kids focus, shy kids open up...I found 12-year-olds unabashedly singing nursery rhymes."
- Kimberly Schonert-Reichi, an applied developmental psychology and professor at the University of British Columbia, says “Do kids become more empathic and understand? Do they become less aggressive and kinder to each other? The answer is yes and yes. The question is why.”
Children in the program learn strategies for comforting a baby, including that you never shake a baby. And they learn how to take the perspective of another. Seeing a mother try to soothe a colicky baby helps them take the parents' view. Lying on the floor to see what the baby sees before the baby can lift he or her head helps them see the world the way the baby does.
Some of the lessons are explicit. But observing is also key. Unlike being a witness to bullying, which is as harmful as bullying itself, the program allows children to learn by modelling. It may also be that those who bully out of feelings of frustration recognize themselves in the interaction, giving them a better understanding of themselves.
Why Babies? Why Does it Work?
Babies are compelling for at least two reasons:
- Evolution. As discussed in “Brain’s Parental Instinct Region Helps Explain Why We Love Babies," our reaction to babies is believed to be instinctive. Early on, Darwin believed that there is something about infants in all species--animal and human--that makes other members of the species want to care for them. Konrad Lorenz hypothesized what that something was--the structure of the infant face. The large head, large eyes, and bulging cheeks are endearing, signaling vulnerability. That signaling is adaptive, since the young of the species needs protection until they are able to fend for themselves.
- Biology. The biological basis is still unknown. However, one theory is that it has to do with the hormone oxytocin, which has been linked to caring and trusting behavior. In theTimes article, C. Sue Carter, a neurobiologist at the University of Illinois, says she believes that “being around a baby is somehow putting the children in a biologically different place.”
Children in an anti-bullying program bonded with babies during schoolroom visits by a parent (mother or father) and baby. By observing the interaction of parent and baby, the bullies learned how to take another’s perspective--that of the parent and/or the baby--which is the basis for empathy. The result was a decrease in bullying. The natural tendency to love and empathize with babies may be a better solution to bullying than "getting tough" with bullies and other common anti-bullying measures.
Other related articles:
The Likelihood of Becoming Bullies, Victims, or Both
Bullying is Bad for the Bystander, Too
Looking Beyond the Bystander Effect
Elizabeth Harrington - Poet, Freelance Writer, Marketing Research Professional, Blogger (www.allaboutqualitative.com)
