Those who witness bullying or abuse on another often feel fear, uncertainty ("Should I do something?"), or guilt if they don't intervene. The stress and negative emotions associated with being a bystander may put them more at risk psychologically than victims or bullies.
Bullying Survey – Witnesses and Victims
The results of a survey reported in School Psychology Quarterly, 2009, shed new light on the experience of children who witness bullying. Public school students in England were asked whether they had witnessed, committed, or been a victim of bullying, and whether they'd had feelings such as anxiety, depression, or hostility.
Witnesses were more likely to report symptoms of psychological stress than either bullies or victims. Although it is well-known that victims suffer psychologically from bullying, there is less known about the effect on bystanders.
Why do Witnesses of Bullying Suffer?
There may be more than one answer. In the same 2009 study mentioned above, previous research was cited which suggested that bystanders feel guilty, most likely for not intervening to help their peers. And according to Bullying.org, the vast majority of students (83%) say witnessing bullying makes them feel uncomfortable.
Guilt or other sources of discomfort are associated with anxiety, depression, and other psychological symptoms. But there are other possible explanations as well. Indecision and lack of control may be other factors.
Bystanders Suffer from the Approach/Avoidance Conflict
An "approach/avoidance" conflict is when there is a desire to go toward something accompanied by an equally strong tug to go away. Children witnessing abuse may feel both guilty for not helping and too scared to help, as if they were literally being pulled in two directions at once.
Sometimes the urge to help is stronger, and sometimes the fear of the consequences is stronger. The result is vacillation, feeling out of control, and a high degree of stress.
Witnessing Domestic Violence
The effects of domestic violence on children who witness it are legion. Children who witness domestic violence, including spousal abuse, or "bullying" of siblings, suffer from fear, anxiety, guilt, and stress-related ailments that are physical (e.g., ulcers, headaches) as well as psychological.
Among the collateral damage of domestic violence is that bystanders may "learn" to bully. Boys in particular are more prone to becoming bullies themselves.
Bystander Apathy – Teaching Children Responsibility
In the famous quote by the English philosopher Edmund Burke: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” Parents need to teach their children that they bear responsibility for witnessing abuse and not doing anything about it.
A recent and horrifying incident involving bystander apathy in a rape case highlights the need for a greater sense of accountability-among adults as well as teens. The National Association of School Psychologists is a good resource, showing schools' efforts to deal with bullying. But the school can't do it alone. Values taught by parents in the home are critical as well.
Anti-Bullying Skills – How to Safely Stop Bullying
Children understandably have all kinds of fears about stopping bullies-including the risk of embarrassment, being labeled a “tattler” and fear of having the bully turn on them. But here are some ways children can intervene that minimize those risks:
- Use a cell phone to call or text for help. Most schoolchildren carry cell phones to school these days. And calling or texting can be done discreetly.
- Tell an adult or older child. This, too, can be done discreetly by walking away from the scene to find help.
- Consider telling the bully to stop, but not if he/she represents a physical threat (that is, if the bully is bigger, stronger, or violent).
- Appeal to other bystanders. It’s safer and more effective if a group confronts the bully. As reported on Bullying.org, when peers intervene on the victim’s behalf, bullying stops almost 60% of the time.
- Enlist the help of friends not on the scene. Here again, sending a quick text message to several people at once can help the bystander marshall support . This might be the better option for group support if other bystanders are not likely to want to help (e.g., are egging the bully on).
Bullying has more than one "victim." Children who witness bullying may suffer even more than those who are bullied. Bystanders are relatively more likely to report depression, anxiety, and other psychological symptoms. Parents can help by teaching accountability, and effective anti-bullying skills.
Sources:
Rivers et al. "Observing bullying at school: The mental health implications of witness status." School Psychology Quarterly, 2009; 24 (4): 211.
Related Research, Bullying.org
Elizabeth Harrington - Poet, Freelance Writer, Marketing Research Professional, Blogger (www.allaboutqualitative.com)
